Thursday, December 17, 2015

Sandcastles are for Children

Thin fingers trailed the smooth surface but the pebbles stayed in place. Her hard work had paid off. Hours of love had gone into her castle. It started out as a muddy lump of sand and evolved into a gorgeous structure by the guidance of her heart.

In those hours, she learned the meaning of love.


The sand flowed and pulsated beneath her fingers, responsive to her will, but it also knew how to tickle her fingers and give them a gentle nudge in the right direction. To the kids recklessly thrashing around her, she knew the relationship did not look balanced. She knew she looked like a fool. They saw the nicks in the sand as flaws. But she didn't care. Because she knew better. She leaned in and gave the hardy sand a dry peck. Her masterpiece. Her time, effort, and most importantly, love.

The shuffle of approaching feet drew her from her trance. The bare, aging feet of her parents planted themselves firmly in her view, shamelessly crushing her masterpiece beneath them.

The girl cried out in horror and pain.

"Sandcastles are for children," they said.

"You can always make a new one," they said.

"There's better ones out there," they said.

"That one was no good, anyway," they said.

"You're too young to understand."

They gripped the hand of their adult daughter and pulled her away from love.

"You have us," they said.

"You don't need anything else, because we love you."

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

When Beta-Reading & Forum Communities Do Not Turn Out As Planned

With classes out for the semester, I have decided to return to my writing. This post I drafted several months ago, but I will post it now to explain my hiatus and because it is worth mentioning. I have not edited any phrasing, so some statements may not be current.

So my time at WriYe has drawn to an end before even completing one year on the forum. I'm sure I've already reached my goal but I have not updated my word count since starting grad school. I've fallen behind on my writing because of my environment changes, one of them being that I will no longer be on WriYe. The culture of the main demographic of many hobbies I partake in has an outward welcoming aura but always turns out to be extremely closed and somewhat rude.

My first beta reading experience was also at WriYe and it was a complete disappointment. Neither of the beta readers that I selected, both fairly active and well-liked members of the forum, upheld their end of the bargain and the moderators did little to help (click below for details).

All in all, I'm putting this out there to say there are two writers who are holding on to my first ever completed manuscript and that this has been my first experience with beta reading. There is really no way to say "be careful." One of the readers I was decently acquainted with myself and still this fiasco.

Yes, life happens, but, short of a dire long-term emergency, nothing excuses you from the responsibility of a contract or keeps you from sending a note of "I'm sorry but I can't do it" or "I need more time."

I am very thankful that the forums motivated me to complete two manuscripts, but I am quite sure I do not owe them my longest manuscript as collateral.


Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Gettin' My Groove Back

I seem to finally be back in my writing groove.

I've weaned myself from the game I'd found, and sorted out some drama--my problems and others'--but I think the main thing that dampered my writing was trying to change my writing style based on critiques.

Despite writing about it so much and being so aware of the downsides, I still did it. I finally popped out of that and have beautiful normal-length prose again. It's a bit late for me to catch up to my goal for July Camp, but I'm still back on track now.

I also have a flash fiction piece I haven't yet posted. It shows my attempt to completely change my style--I tried omniscient POV and dialogue-run prose with italicized thoughts. The story idea itself received positive reviews. I will decide if I will publish it here soon.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Missing in Action

I haven't updated in a while. I have periods of time when I can't stay off my blog and want to publish 3 posts daily, followed by periods where I forget it exists. I am currently coming out of the latter period.

Despite my relatively slower writing pace (it has dipped below 2K/day because I've found new toys on the internet), I do believe I will finish the first draft of the final book of the trilogy this month, then I can get back to the short story I'd planned to write this month. I should be 70% complete as of tomorrow.

I had baked apples yesterday, with allspice, ginger, butter, and honey, because I didn't have sugar or applejuice. Mmm. Speaking of which, it's time for me to come up with another micro story!

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Updates! WriYe and Writing

I've been working on my trilogy since February. I got off to a really slow start, but I've learned so much over the course of these past 5 months.


I've been keeping up with my progress on the National Writing Year forum, which is why you see me pump out a WriYe Blogging Circle post once a month. WriYe is also the reason my stories sidebar is filling up so well--I participated in a challenge called Laster Wriy'er Standing (LWS), which, as you can probably guess, involved submitting a piece and voting out someone every two weeks. The challenge provided a nice break from my trilogy, despite a few unsettling faults with the competition. Working with the same characters for so long has been really rewarding.

Another blurb about WriYe, it's Zombie July! I signed up for the challenge mistakenly, but once I found out what it was about, I decided to give it a try. I've never written a zombie story nor do I have an interest in zombies, but I have an idea for a zombie short that will hopefully see itself written in time this month. This month's blog post, in celebration of zombies, is about overused tropes, so stay tuned for my reply to that.

I'm also participating in July Camp to help me finish the final book of my trilogy (the first time I've ever participated in NaNo!). My recent move has taken my daily word count down by over 1K words, so I'm hoping to meet my goal so I can be free to write and edit casually. It's been a busy month!

Fresh Habits

  • I've watched myself grow from a few words a day to up to 5000 at home. This habit reset each month as I started a new project. Currently, I am pumping out 2000 words a day.
  • Went from writing 1/2 - 3/4 a chapter a day to writing 2 chapters a day.
  • Went from writing a few times a week to every day.
  • I've learned a lot from research and small critiques, but the biggest thing that improved my writing was READING!
  • From critiques, I learned that I am my best (and worst) critic--if I put my mind to it, I can think of all the questions a reader might come up with, and this helps sort through rude or unhelpful critiques.

Goals for July

  • I hope to finish the final book of my trilogy so I can prepare for editing. (I'll be looking for beta readers, too!)
  • Outline and write zombie short, Sometimes Poison is the Sweetest

The largest goal is, of course, to finish up this trilogy. I honestly can't wait to start editing! During that phase--after July--I'm also going to start outlining my next novel, which I've decided to save for my first NaNoWriMo.

Also, did you hear? Writer's Edit is hosting a giveaway that includes a chance at a free copy of Scrivener and other books!

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Blizzard Bombshell


The laughter of children tingled pleasantly in CiCi Kwu's ears. She looked out the window at the bundles of joy dancing in the street--urchins and spoiled brats mixed in one amorphous mass of puffy coats and muddy scarves. Older children hefted huge pots from their mothers, passing steaming bowls of soup to and fro. Below her window, two rocking chairs squeaked in unison as their occupants chatted about new strains of vegetables they had managed to grow in the frigid weather. Excited by the end of the workday, returning workers were typically so eager to strike conversation that they would make themselves comfortable on the nearest porch.

Pressing her chilled hands to her sides, CiCi smiled down at a faded photograph of a shorter, rounder version of herself with her two best friends in puffy children's jackets and muddy scarves of their own. Today was the anniversary of their long-lasting friendship--every year they reenacted the games they had played together the first time they met. As she reached for her bag, a distant wail cut through the peaceful chill. Her body stiffened as a shiver ran down her spine and she rushed out onto the porch. The creaking of the rocking chairs ceased as the two ladies stared into the distance. CiCi did not have to wonder about the cause of the sirens for long--a heavily armored vehicle blazed towards them, scattering children like paper in the wind.

The serious voice of a public official boomed into the street, a tiny head visible behind a megaphone perched on top of the bulky vehicle. "This is not a drill! I repeat: this is not a drill!"

The rocking chairs swung back into motion as the two ladies jumped to their feet to stand on either side of CiCi. "What could it be?" one of them mused. "An attack?"

"There's no way," the other responded. "We've had peace for years."

CiCi swallowed a lump, her heart racing. Of all days, why today? They had never rescheduled their anniversary--not for the past 12 years. Mind numb, her eyes followed the puffy coats bobbing through the slushy, frozen mud, ruining their clothes. A low rumbling destroyed her attempt to escape from reality and she returned her attention to the talking head to see a line of armored vehicles fall in line behind the first.

The voice boomed through the megaphone again. "As you may be aware, we have been monitoring an approaching mass that has been affecting weather patterns. After hours studying this phenomenon, we have agreed that evacuation is necessary. This mass is more than an ordinary swell, but evacuation is a priority to identifying the nature and origin of the mass. Please stay calm and pack only one bag of valuables and foodstuffs."

"Evacuation?" CiCi murmured, the armored vehicles blurred as if a figment of her imagination.

A cold hand rubbed her back before the two ladies darted down the porch steps, a pair of foxes willing themselves across the frost-dried mud. Other residents rushed to the sides of the huge vehicles. Their strained voices carried clearly through the thin air.

"Could it be an attack?" someone echoed.

"We fear it may be a new weapon," the official stated bluntly, his megaphone lowered but unnecessary.

Rooted to the spot, CiCi took several deep breaths before turning to go inside. She dumped out the contents of her small purse and retrieved a backpack. It would all turn out to be a false alert and they would get back in time to continue their tradition. Or the event would allow them to make a new tradition. She chuckled, restoring a bit of the warmth in her body.

As she opened the cupboard to grab some desiccated food, the siren sounded again. Ignoring it, she selected a few bags of dried herbs and fish, saved months before, but the quivering voice of the public official suggested that the siren was not just a reminder. She closed the cupboard door and returned to the porch.

"We have received word that the surrounding colonies have started evacuation procedures--this mass is not only targeting us. Residents are advised to leave everything," he stressed, "Everything! We must leave as soon as possible to get to safety." The tiny head atop the vehicle grew a body and began frantically waving at surrounding residents, urging them to board the tanks.

A series of thumps brought CiCi's attention to her loosening grip, the packets of food hitting the porch. She hardly had time to reclaim them before someone snatched them up and rushed off to board. People surged from their housing units in numbers CiCi didn't know existed in their tiny colony, cracking the normally peaceful atmosphere with the shuffling of feet, cries of mothers separated from children, and of children separated from pets or toys.

She could not leave. Not like this, with previously loving neighbors clawing at each other, eyes full of fear of the unknown. She backed into the house as their fear lashed out with spindly fingers, threatening to engulf her. Peering through the rattling windowpanes, she decided she would rather spend her last moments at home than in desperate fear. As she made her decision, figures began to stop in the raging crowd, which began to form waves around them as it surged on. Shoulders squared, they pushed against the crowd, away from the tanks. CiCi blinked, watching these individuals separate from the crowd and head back to their homes. Pride surged through her, triggering resolution--she would not be leaving. A few of the returning faces bobbed at her in solidarity. If the enemy wanted to threaten their home, let them. They would not run again.

"Please!" the official's voice rang out through the megaphone. "Board now!"

The receding backs were his only response. With a monstrous rumble, the tanks fired their engines, the last children scuttling into manholes and sons lifting frail mothers into the hold. Moments later, the heavy tanks clanked out of sight, leaving the streets gutted and silent.

As the clanking faded, children flooded the streets, toys and gadgets tinkling behind them. Though they were older than the children before, CiCi felt uneasy with the number left behind, but their happy chatter melted her unease away. A sputter turned her attention to the kitchen, where the refrigerator's low hum gradually changed pitch before dying. She found the nearest light switch and flipped it. Nothing. She flicked it desperately up and down before it finally sank in that the power was out. With several deep breaths, she managed to dissolve the bubbles that rose in her stomach. The officials had probably cut the power on the way out.

But what if the officials were gone for days? She looked in at the vegetables lining the shelves of the refrigerator and began pulling them out by the armful before she realized she needed power to preserve them. She left them on the sink, watching the skin of some darken from the cold air. The refrigerator was less of a freezer box and more of an incubator. She let her chilled fingers rest a moment on its considerably warmer shelf before she closed the door and returned to the window.

The children had left their gadgets in a pile and were standing in a circle, their eyes directed towards one child. One arm extended to the side, his entire body trembled. The children next to him stuck fingers in their ears and leaned away from him. Before she could make out the object in his hand, she heard a telltale click. A brief glint of light highlighted the sleek barrel of the devilish item. CiCi's breath caught in her throat as she realized the children were playing Russian Roulette. When she was their age, she joked with her friends about playing the daredevil game but knew they would never carry out their wishes. But these children were different--after hearing the wails of adults issuing death notices, these children probably saw the town’s evacuation as an opportunity. Her heart fell as she noticed that the grungy clothing of street urchins dominated the group. Who did they have to instill hope in them?

The postures of the surrounding children changed with the passing of the gun. CiCi's heart thumped in her ears as she stiffly walked to the porch. "Ch-Children?" Her voice came out like confectionary powder. As another click invited itself into the air, the porch creaked under her twitching muscles. She rushed forward, stumbling down the porch stairs and tripping on the last step. Face full of mud, she looked up to see all eyes on her. The children erupted into laughter and discarded the plastic water gun, rushing off to play in a different street.

Shaking, CiCi returned to her kitchen, clutching the sides of the sink. The water chugged out with a series of bangs. She washed the mud from her face and heaved a sigh of relief. A clang, followed by the tinkle of broken glass, pulled her from her relief. Was it happening? Her fingers began to tremble against her face, sweat mixing in with the residual water. She did not know what to expect. Was the mass a bomb or a missile? A UFO? A flock of resilient birds? She scanned the kitchen for a blunt object, the blood rushing to her head making her dizzy. In one hand, she grabbed her pulsing head, and in the other, she found a butcher's knife--shorter than she would have liked but sharp enough to lower her pulse. Tiptoeing, she crept around the corner. A flash of color blazed by her and she jerked, the knife flying from her hand. She gasped sharply as the knife embedded itself deep into the wood floor, centimeters from her foot. Whirling around, she spotted the flash of color, splayed in front of the door and calmly rubbing a paw to its face.

She felt the air build in her lungs for another sigh when a crash came from the room across the hall. She bent to retrieve the knife, falling onto her back as she held the dangerously sharpened weapon between her palms. She continued towards the room, silencing the urge to flee the house. The door stood slightly ajar. Composing herself, she pushed it open with one swift motion of her foot. Something hit her in the stomach and sent her careening against the wall. Flashes of color darted from the room, headed for the kitchen. An entire clutter of cats had entered her home through an open window in the den. She shut the window and released her pent up sigh.

Every threat turned out to be a hoax, and this mass of air would be no different.

The street began to grow dark. CiCi pulled the door shut and locked it. Now, it could not be much longer before the officials returned to fill the empty units with laughter again. She turned from the window with a smile, but a flash drew her back to it. Forms flitted in the alleys, too ominous to be children playing late-night games. Her throat tightened as she considered that this was the threat, but she cast the thought from her mind. There was no way aliens had landed.

The forms began making their way to different housing units, keeping to the shadows, but CiCi could see their every move. Some broke off, scattering to houses to the south as others slinked to houses to the north. They all seemed to diverge around her house. Soon, the street was empty again. They were just residents returning home--the tanks had probably dropped them off nearby. CiCi quieted her mind and shuffled back to her room, throwing back the covers on her insulated rubber mattress. She shouldered her way out of her heavy coat and stared longingly at her hot water heater, reluctant to break her routine of a cup of piping hot tea before bed. A form flitted by the window.

This time, her mind could not produce an excuse to remain calm. She backed out of the room as a pair of pearly white eyes raked across her room. The form disappeared from her window, but her heart had returned to her ears. What if that threatening presence decided it was going to enter? Maybe there was such a thing as aliens. She rushed back to the kitchen, searching for her butcher's knife when a scream came from next door. CiCi froze as Mrs. Min rushed out in her nightgown, a cackling form racing behind her.

"This is for making me take that shot!" her pursuer shouted.

Another form raced by, slapping hands with the first before disappearing into another house and eliciting a fresh scream. CiCi watched from the window, shivering as the intruder reemerged with the resident of the housing unit. With a shove, Mr. Em found himself face down in the mud.

"That's for siccing all your urchins on my house!" The door slammed.

The light receded behind the rooftops, casting a shadow completely over the street.

The colony was falling into chaos. It would only take seconds for revenge to morph from chasing elderly women and house-napping to shooting and killing. Was there anyone who wanted to hurt her? She could not think of anyone, and so few had stayed. But the ruckus outside did not allow her to think she would be safe. The foundation creaked and CiCi pressed her back to the wall, sinking below the window. One of the cats from earlier drifted by, disappearing beyond the door frame like a ghost.

She had made the wrong choice. She had been so stupid. At least others had stayed behind for their families or for some material attachment. But her? She had stayed behind to escape fear? To be able to strike 'laughing in the face of Death' off her bucket list?

She grabbed her backpack, still on the kitchen table, and rushed back into her room, pulling on her coat. She made for the back door before realizing it was close to the window where the face had intruded on her space. Taking a deep breath, she returned to the kitchen and stepped out the front door, biting her lip as she fumbled with the lock.

She tried to remain calm, but her nerves were frayed. She had no idea what she was doing--the residents had left hours ago in tanks. A low rumble filled the air and CiCi's heart fluttered. They were returning! She rushed into the road, suddenly not caring if a prankster decided to charge her. The shadowy figures in the street darkened into outlines as a black mass shifted towards them in the sky. CiCi stared up, her mouth wide and quivering in dread. With a crack, the balloon-like mass exploded and screams rang out, the magnitude indicating that it was from pranksters and the pranked alike.

"It's black rain!" someone screamed, whipping by her in a mad dash back to their unit.

A crash told CiCi they had not quite made it in the dark. CiCi closed her eyes and filled her mind with memories of the sun. She would not die in fear.

She stumbled as someone bumped into her and her eyes flew open, a well-lit face entering her vision. "Are you crazy?" the man snapped at her before rushing off.

She looked up to see the sky had lightened to a milky hue, speckled with fallout. She swallowed down her feelings of doubt and imagined they were draughts of the honeysuckle tea her father made just for her when she was little. She was with her friends, in a field of them, filling baskets to turn into the rich liquid.

Feeling tears build along the rim of her eyelids, she blinked them away. A solidarity wet drop touched her nose. Eyes crossed, she could see the tiny droplet poised in place. Another drop joined it, dislodging it from its throne. More tiny droplets began to brush her skin, sticking instead of rolling off. Her eyes shot skyward. Her grandmother would tell her stories of a feathery liquid, of white ice, of frozen water than did not hurt and tickled the skin. She could not believe it.

She looked around to see the streets empty. Faces pressed to glass windows and wide eyes watched her. With a laugh, she began to twirl in her first snow.

 Like a water gun held between her eyes, the spray was refreshing.

___

Author's Note:

I am very pleased to say, like Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol, I received one negative critique saying this piece was too actiony. This is a case where a person would respond "well, sorry for my life." The critic didn't like one of the main points of the piece, which is how life can sometimes suck you up, knock you around, and leave you drained. If you felt that way reading it, then I've only done my job. 

Remember! Sometimes negative critiques tell you that you have successfully executed something and you just have to weed through the fact that the individual has a preference against that element. On the other hand, some are just amusing to read and should not be taken seriously--another critic believed everyone died. You must be able to isolate unique cases. I understand where s/he may have gotten the idea, but no one else reached that conclusion. 

It's always important to understand the "anatomy" of your genre but to also have confidence in the unique elements you add. A few critics said I left out things here and there, but wanting to know certain information is different from necessary information missing from the piece. The next time you read a good short story, preferably a science-fiction piece, notice how much is left out. I recently finished Ass-Hat Magic Spider by Scott Westerfeld and realized at the end I didn't know where the main character was, where he was going, why he was going there, or even the level of critical importance that he leave despite the entire story revolving around him preparing to leave. But that didn't matter. The story was well-executed and I believe not knowing contributed to the story. It is, after all, a short story, not the biography of the main character. The importance of the story was the precious cargo he risked his health for--the last book in the universe. 

I hope my short blurb on critiques can be helpful for someone, if not just an amusing fun fact. And, in case you're wondering, yes, I did have good critics. Like you, for example! But I won't force that title on you.
___

Blizzard Bombshell is copyright Krystal K. Brown. All rights reserved. Please do not copy or distribute this work without express permission of the author.

Monday, July 6, 2015

I Have a Twin


I have a twin. 

My twin is my best friend. She is always there to support me and comes to me when I need her. She is very beautiful and confident, but I know she must get lonely when I’m not there. When I gaze into the mirror, she’s always there with me, complimenting my weight and my smile with arm flexes and a smile of her own. She’s the me I want to be and talks my ear off about string theory, quantum theory, and dimensional travel. 

I’d like to visit her one day. I mean, at least I’d planned to. Before I could, my stupid brother broke my mirror. For him, that’s seven years bad luck, but for me it’s different. That mirror was special. We had years and years of experiences there. 

Now, with my new mirror, it’s not the same. When I look in, it’s me that looks back. A fat, unhappy girl with a lopsided grin and no aspirations. Not my beautiful sister. Not my quirky, scientific twin. 

She’s gone. Gone forever. 

My family calls me crazy, but I know. In another dimension, I have a twin. 

Just not here.

Saturday, June 27, 2015

The Color of a Criminal

Sweat sopped from his pale skin, which shone like iridescent glass. He eased his disease-ridden body from his upholstered throne and raised a crooked, bony finger, pointing at the faint outline of a man across from him. "You are evil, yes. So... your skin must be dark!"

The man looked at the older gentleman, his eyes falling on the pen poised in the gentleman's hand, ink dripping onto the paper. He looked down as his bronze skin materialized. "Isn't that a poor description of a villain?" he asked.

"Don't tell me how to do my job!" the old man wretched, falling back into his chair as he scribbled away at his manuscript. "Everyone knows dark skin and eyes are evil!" Globs of sweat mixed with the ink, creating the author's story like witchcraft on the paper.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

2 Days Later (Serious Spoilers)

As you can probably tell, I wrote this two days after another post on Angels & Demons.

In general, a number of fact jumps increased in intensity.  A few other things I mentioned in that post also got worse--Langdon and Vittoria chatted it up after finding out the killer was a few feet away instead of rushing in. They would have gotten him and prevented two killings. Possibly. It would've at least turned out better than them rushing in once everyone was dead, for the first time not considering that the killer might still be there, and then getting caught. Of course, none of these possibilities are true in the constraints of the story, but the odd chattiness makes it seem that way. It almost seemed too stupid to be realistic compared to their usual protocol. I mean, Vittoria was willing to rush two old ladies, but not rush the building where the actual killer is? 

It's a World of Pale Blond Hair and Blue Eyed Characters


And the other thing--pale and obviously handsome Langdon (I'm sorry--American White men don't tend to look that handsome. This is why you're not supposed to impose descriptions and impressions on the reader. Langdon is obviously the fraternity-type legacy professor who gives grades to White male athletes. If you know the type and Brown's background, you'd agree; if not, don't get offended!) instantly describes the Arab as a "dark monster." Okay, I only have to read that once, right? Nope. Ol' blue eyes then thinks it's horrible for him to have dark eyes (I always read stories when I was small about teenaged white female characters hating brown eyes and I never knew what that was about). It didn't mean dark and evil eyes... he just had "black" eyes. The "animal" he was later described as seemed less about his killing and more about his aforementioned appearance.

The things you notice when you aren't in the worship-blond-hair-and-blue-eyes group.

When I write my stories, I do not only write them for African-Americans, but I am aware that less open people will be turned off by descriptions of curls, curves, and thick curly hair. That is out of my control and also something that I should not cater to. However, I've read books that cater to White folk all my life. They hardly attempt to acknowledge there is diversity in the world. Sure, I threw in a black character, but if my other characters are surrounded by White people and only talk about "White ideals," is that a reflection of my environment?

I read back on stories I wrote years ago, where I describe pale skin and grey or green eyes like I'm describing the Holy Grail (luckily it was hardly ever blue eyes, but brown was sadly not that frequent either). Surrounded by White writers, I became used to my own exclusion. In order to think they were beautiful, I had to think I was not. It was hardly ever a neutral message and never told me both were beautiful. Which brings me to my next point.

The problem I see in books today is we aren't just excluded--we are excluded in a way that makes us seem subpar. If pale skin is so beautiful that it warrants a page-long description, the skin this person have before s/he became a vampire (for example) must have been ugly! (I make this sound like a deduction, but some of these stories do state it explicitly.) Similarly, reading one White person call another dark as if that is "exotic" is strange, but it sends a message.

Then there are authors who, whenever making a sci-fi species that is enslaved, decide to make them brown-skinned. I've even seen cases where only the enslaved have skin colors... But that's another story.

No one ever looks at it as, you are abnormally pale! Yet it seems to happen for all other groups.

It's understandable if this is the author's ideals manifesting, but my point is it's the majority of authors. In one of my manuscripts, I describe pale skin in ways it appears, similarly to White authors, but I do not glorify it. To people used to its glorification, the descriptions could come off as purposefully degrading. (Many authors will describe the pale skin and crooked nose of a character to a vivid T, then the label of "beautiful" or "ugly" they attach seems to be arbitrary, but they do it nonetheless.)

Back to Angels & Demons--I still love the book. I was just moved to put it on the chopping block as an example for some reason. It did raise good points outside of the strange fact-jump inconsistencies (unless it's a pattern!).

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Surprises in Dan Brown's Angels & Demons (Spoiler Alert)

There are a lot of character inconsistencies in Dan Brown's Angels & Demons. I'm surprised, but the urge to point them out grew because there were so many. Because of it, the best characters are sometimes the ones with the least showtime.

Sometimes the characters do things that are, well, out of character. Here's a few examples just from the past 40 or so pages:

The Temporary Expert


The Case of Vittoria


Vittoria, despite being an educated scientist, does not understand why one must wear gloves when dealing with ancient documents. She asks similar "stupid questions" throughout the book. I can't help but wonder if it's because she's female. Of course, she's a great character and Dan Brown does flaunt her mental prowess.

I believe Brown is trying to make Langdon the archive expert and not her, but she would have some common sense knowledge. For instance, she should understand oxidation without Langdon explaining it to her. And she should not simply state that they can replace an ancient book removed from the archive room as if it will not be damaged by the air or destroyed in the frantic search they will be carrying out.

Vittoria, despite supposedly believing in God, does not understand the meaning of something being hidden in plain sight in a document, only for those who understand. Ever read the Bible?

I know this is a symptom of her femaleness, but she states God is a she, which it would have been in character for her to provide an explanation. There is none. I do think Brown added this because a lot of "progressive" females like to say this. My mother and I both agreed that a female God wouldn't have made man first or put him in charge to make up for his weaknesses. There's also the possibility a "she" wouldn't have created them at all.

The Case of Langdon


Langdon, who states that he is familiar with only a little Italian from his art history studies begins translating ancient Italian that even Vittoria, a native speaker, stated she could not translate. In the next chapter, he "struggles" but that seems like an understatement.

Sudden fact changes are a prevalent type of jump. At the end of one chapter, Langdon says he needs to write something down but they don't have time, and in the next chapter he's already deciphered the text without even glancing at it again.

Miscellaneous


Similarly, the Illuminati is stated to be against Catholicism for most of the beginning of the book, then against Christianity, then against all religions towards the middle. The latter is certainly false (let's not forget they recruited Muslims and anyone against Christianity according to the book...), but the first is the only one that Langdon/Brown explains through history. Outsiders just start saying Christianity, which is understandable, especially if they're Catholic, but Langdon himself starts confusing Catholicism with Christianity.

Another thing that gets me is sometimes the same concept is repeated over three times by one or two characters over the span of a chapter or two (~3-10 pages), I believe in an attempt to have it seem more complicated. Perhaps this is an effective technique and I only notice because I am usually familiar with the concepts.

Also, exotic or otherwise known-to-be-unsettling terms are used to describe the two Black people who have made brief appearances, although a Japanese women is mentioned and we have an Arabian character. So an American is exotic? And an African? But not someone from Asian countries? Got it.

And here's a funny one: whereas The Lost Symbol might be considered too actiony, Angels & Demons is the opposite: when tension is high and time is short, Langdon and Vittoria stop to chat. Every time. Without fail. Not only that, but they chat about unimportant things. Slightly related, but nothing to do with solving the crisis at hand. It is incredibly effective at further building the tension--I have to suppress the urge to skip their conversation.

And a big spoiler: Langdon discovers the clues to the so-called Path of Illumination were lain out in a way scientists would understand. Not only is Vittoria a scientist who figures out little if any of the clues, even as a team they have such a hard time (Langdon actually figures the stuff out a little too quickly, especially seeing that his art history knowledge wouldn't line up with the modern times, which Brown also points out). Langdon flipping through art catalogs really makes you wonder how it's supposed to be done.

Sweet and Sour 


Don't get me wrong--I love the book, though it seems to genuinely romanticize one group of killers by comparing them to another (something Brown did not do in The Lost Symbol). The way Langdon keeps hoisting science over religion is strange considering the book is centered around God's existence. Both of these points could be really good character development on Langdon's part, but I'll have to wait until the end to see. Plenty of these are small issues that just caught my attention (and made me wonder about his editor(s))--I hope it never comes to a time when people try to censor authors. I do wonder how much similar slip ups in books say about the author's beliefs, though.

Saturday, June 20, 2015

All We Need is Food!

"We don't need weapons or defense systems--all we need is food!" the cook cried merrily as his dishes bubbled away on the stove.

A man stood by his side, peering into a pot. "Oh, that's a good point! If you can welcome your enemies in to a good meal, everything is at peace."

"No, no!" The cook hefted a lump of fufu. "Because you can just use food as your weapon!" The massive, steaming ball of fufu slipped from the cook's encouraging grasp and took the man to the floor.

Author's Note: I've never held fufu, so it could be completely light (particularly after being steamed, oops), but the image of it soaring through the air was a lovely image compared to chucking potatoes. I'm completely intrigued by it since I first saw it and always have an image of anything starchy being heavy at some point along its journey to the water.

Friday, June 19, 2015

Sweet Yams and Mashed Potatoes

When I was a child, I thought yams and sweet potatoes were two different things.
And then I learned they were the same.
And then I learned they were different.

Moral of the story: Seek and ye shall find. Look it up for yourself, even when you aren't that curious. Misinformation is everywhere.

Saying the two vegetables are the same is another example of cultural appropriation, where White people tell you that's just what dem Africans call it. Conversely, Africans will tell you they are most assuredly different vegetables.

It's like comparing a purple cabbage (yum) to bok choy.

Because US sweet potatoes are sometimes incorrectly called yams, some big-headed "experts" took it upon themselves to basically say yams don't exist. Cougar, puma, moun'in lion.

And that concludes this random bit of micro fiction from a page in my life.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

銀色飛行船・ぎんいろひこうせん・Silver Airship by supercell: English Translation

I was listening to a really beautiful song and noticed there wasn't an English translation. If there is, well, here's another! I tried to keep the same meanings on each line as the Japanese, but it was especially hard with "Jitensha kago ni kaban futaribun nosete" which I would translate as "our two bags placed in the bicycle basket" or similar.

I may rework these lyrics to be less literal, but I thought I should leave them line for line because I remember I used to like comparing the Japanese with the English.


Silver Airship

by Supercell

If I stop climbing at this road,
You are always
Yawning,
Waiting there.

In this town smelling of salty winds
You and I both
Would become be adults.
That’s what I thought.

The seabirds cried
The road I took with you that summer,
I chase and chase.

Shining silver airship--
Only the sea remains the same.
On this hill, you laughed
I want to see you once more.

In the bicycle basket,
two bags side by side.
Complaining,
We pressed up the hill.

This road is straight--
I thought there was no way I could go wrong,
No matter where I went.

Flying silver airship--
I want to find that sky,
The wind caressed my cheek on that hill.
Now, there’s no one here.
No one’s here.

Dusk falls and silhouettes grow
I chased after you.
I have always liked you,
But I could never say it.

Shining silver airship,
Only the sea remains the same.
You laughed on this hill--
I want to see you once more.

Flying silver airship,
Waving, I saw you off that day.
This time, when I climb that road,
I will be waiting on this hill.

I will be the one waiting.

___

銀色飛行船 is copyright supercell. This translation is copyright Krystal K. Brown (and supercell). When using this translation, please create the translator and the original artist.

About the Translation


Fun fact: I learned 坂道押す (sakamichi osu) is a short way of saying getting off your bike and pushing it up a steep hill (坂町を手押しで登る/sakamichi wo te-oshi de noboru), which is why the characters were complaining. Before, I assumed it meant "to press up the hill" as an emphasis on its steepness alone. As you can see, to maintain the simplicity, I left it as that.

Update: I found other translations! Translations are always interesting to compare, so check them out! I took very few poetic liberties with mine, so it is more of a line-by-line translation.

I saw one that drew to my attention that the character may have been chasing the seabirds with the mysterious childhood love on the way home. It was a simple translation, so I should've spent more time analyzing it. At the same time, there's a bit I don't agree with in a few of the other translations (e.g. misplaced sentence subjects, skewed meaning by adding certain words). It's a tricky business! Feeling the song helps a lot.

I like "direct" translations because I've seen people say many times that a phrase doesn't exist in English when it does and completely change the Japanese meaning as a result, and in an attempt to be poetic (this is a major thing in college translation classes), they add in words that change the inflection of the sentence. More Japanese sentences can translate "as is" than I feel we are led to believe. When I feel certain that I've internalized the author's intended meaning, then I might seek to strengthen that meaning in English, but I think it's wrong to twist the original meaning into what you want it to be.

Then again, I'm someone who thinks book art is a horrible thing.

And looking back at the seabirds part, though it makes sense in English, it still doesn't click when I look at the Japanese. The style is more poetic than standard sentences, but I still think of it as her chasing the memory of the days when they walked together, the seabirds being an iconic part of that memory.

Going off what I said about replicating the author's intentions--some songs have short choppy lyrics, while others read like a story. Remembering this, I decided I won't alter my above translation to make it flow more in English. If she wanted to say "I watched clouds like silver airships in the sky" or "you took off in a silver airship" instead of "shining silver airship," she would have.

Using one of the first two quotes would be an example of extrapolating an ambiguous work and killing the romantic ambiguity. How? Because I don't know which meaning she had in mind (though I have a pretty good idea and am also 100% sure a solitary shining airship does not symbolize clouds), so choosing one would be allowing my personal first impression of the song to dictate the translation.

So, the point is, if the original work was ambiguous or mysterious, the translation should be, too. It's great that you understood her meaning, but putting an extended literal meaning instead of reserving the poetic form... destroys the poetry for anyone who reads your translation.

Now for an example of "correcting" word choice: notice how the lyricist chose to say "umidori" (seabirds) instead of "kamome" (seagulls).

If "seagulls" were the intended meaning, there's no obvious reason "umidori" would be chosen over "kamome," (perhaps for the emphasis of "umi") and in the case of a word preference, it was likely an image preference. There are many types of seabirds, and the lyricist is probably aware that people may think of the fellas pecking around in the water, pelicans, or the like instead of seagulls. At the same time, seabirds crying likely will make you think of seagulls, which is why I nearly chose that translation myself.

I think the usage of "seabird" allows your imagination to explore more, creating a nostalgic feeling.

And that's my stance on translation, still growing and evolving--a completely random tidbit about me. (But still writing-related!)

Monday, June 15, 2015

Castaway


Run from his home, 
he couldn't forget
the night when his family had made him forfeit
all that he owned.

Now all alone
and cold to the bone
he stared at the wall,
no paper, no phone.
No message to write, no story to tell
his own family told him to burn in Hell.

The streets, used as landfills
and the dumpsters' overspill
mocked his aching, growling stomach.
He'd bend, his ankles, knees, still swollen
as around him passed, in twos and fours, men.
But not one. Not one would lend a helping hand.

Dirty looks shot through his heart
from the ones whom this mess did start.
Kicked out of his own house into the dirt
the waist of his pants no longer girt.
Not a single coin did they leave in his pocket
for every coin was written on their docket.
In their greed, they'd met him with fire
cut him, dashed him, and called him a liar.

Without them on his side, who did he have?
No one, no Man who wouldn't take a jab
at his heart, at his mind--
whatever they could find
they took. 
Took, took.

Everything, everything was taken away
by those who he'd called family.
He huddled close to the birds and the squirrels
until the time of night when they whirled
to return to their homes and their beds and their worlds.

He stepped through the warm wind into the blue light
the moon quivering in all its glory and might.
His pockets were light and his soul was heavy
but his mind had finally been set free
of the banshee
that sung the sweet words that richness was material.

Because of that voice, his life had been serial.

He knelt on the sidewalk,
his fingers gripping the charcoal chalk
as he etched the message in his heart.
His family had given him the start
that he needed to fire the coals
to melt the heaviness in his soul.

The message was simple, straight to the point.
with greed, money did his family annoint.
But he was not innocent, unblemished, without fault--
On his sight, his material wealth had raised an assault.
But now he could see: he was rich with the word
the message, the truth, which had come like a bird.

The chalk scribbled the message in one word, six, seven
and in those words he thought he did see heaven:

"Without money, we would all be rich,
it's the material that makes us all so sick," which
darkens the mind and causes the homeless
and leaves us all with a feeling so lone'less.

The one place he had never known was Home.

Shalom.

The glow in his face
rose up to the place
where richness abounds
in a town
with streets of gold
and richness that by Man was untold.

___

Author's Note: This was supposed to be a free verse piece, but after the verse that doesn't rhyme at all, the Lord filled me with rhymes. Anyone who's read my previous posts knows I can't rhyme and typically avoid poetry.

Castaway is copyright Krystal K. Brown. All rights reserved. Do not use, copy, or distribute any part of Castaway without the express permission of the author.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

New Books!

I took another trip to the library and picked up Relentless by Dean Koontz and Angels & Demons by Dan Brown (for a total of $2).

I'm so excited!

I've read The Lost Symbol and laughed at flack it got for being too actiony. Can't handle fast-paced reality? But I digress.

I've never gone by authors before because I used to read anything that looked good. But both these authors are ones I've heard of before.

After yesterday's post, I probably make it sound as if finding a good book for me would be a pain, but I'm really not that bad. All my books are in storage and I can't buy a ton in my current situation. I also can't stand reading a good book and knowing I'll return it to the library to never be seen again. (Though the only book I remember ever re-reading is The Scorpion King.) The particular library I go to puts the crappiest of the crappy books up front (they have a ton of Stephen King novels, but even the thrillers look boring), while one farther away has pretty decent books donated by the community.

Before Chapter 1 of The Reincarnationist, the last thing I read was the first half of Anna Karenina. I got sick of Levin's boring character. I liked him the most, but boy was he boring! Out of all the characters, he was the only one who got more than 2 or 3 chapters in a row. I actually stopped right when he got maybe 5 in a row. The part I enjoyed the most was when Kitty went abroad, but it seems a lot of people thought she was too perfect a character. Which was funny since she was comparing herself to an actually perfect character, making the point that she wasn't perfect.

Anyway, my reading streak has never been worse. I've only stopped in the middle of a book two times that I can recall--The Battle of Thermopylae (though I thought I remembered liking it) and Anna Karenina. And I threw Haruki Murakami against the wall when I had to read his work for class, but I finished it nonetheless. Everyone speaks so highly of him!

The last good read I had was The Black Tulip by Alexandre Dumas ages before my theses took over my life. Even that was a book I picked from the other library--the one that sells decent used books. For much cheaper, too. The irony. (I read Cousin Bette since then, but that's hardly worth mentioning. It was a good book, though.)

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Don't Criticize Me!

To critique or not to critique?


Learning to critique is an important part of being a writer if you ever intend on engaging in a community to improve your own work.

By critiquing, you help another better their work, and by receiving critiques, you can better your own.

Essentially, you're putting your head together with another--you may be good at picking out grammar errors and they may be good at pointing out characterization issues, so together, you've aced both!

I enjoy critiquing and the benefits of criticism. I mostly am good at pointing out grammar but also at considering the author's intentions before making a comment. I'm always looking for ways to more effectively word a scene.


Welcome to the Dark Side


But critiques also have a "dark side" I feel like isn't talked about much. It's common sense that you can ignore comments you don't agree with or find useful, but there's a little more danger than just that.

Confidence


The downside of critiques is that if you lack confidence or the ability to empathize (see where the critique is coming from), your confidence in your work can be shot. You also have to be able to understand when a critic has genuinely misjudged your work because of genre/topic biases or when they’ve made a reading mistake. If you can’t, in terms of comments that you don’t immediately see the benefit of, you won’t be able to tell which comments should be disregarded.

To overcome this:

  1. Know your work and your audience. Before sending off your manuscript, be sure you understand your world and your characters and have an idea of what you are unsure about. Additionally, understand your audience and whether your critics fit into that subset. If not, be aware of how they differ from that subset.
  2. When reading a comment, decide if you agree or disagree. If you disagree, ask yourself why. If the critic highlights a sentence or paragraph they didn't understand, compare it to other critiques. What meaning were you trying to portray and why do you think the critic missed it? Could you improve clarity or did the critic somehow miss the previous sentence? (It happens.)
  3. And no matter what, keep on writing. It's envitable that a certain comment might make you feel down, or that a large edit may have to be made, but that doesn't mean your work was bad. Editing is a part of the process that makes your work all the more valuable, so if critiquing helps you along that step, continue!
  4. Take care of yourself and don't feel obligated to put up with the process. If you ever feel like you can't take critiques, take a break. I frequently see this negatively worded as if something's wrong with you if you can't take them. If it's not a pride issue, it could be a confidence issue, and that is not your fault. We seem to forget that harsh yet constructive critiques can seem all the more harsh to a writer when the comment is inapplicable to what the writer desires. We all have different sensitivities.

Research


Research is very important, as well. I’ve received comments on my current novel that, had I not addressed the same questions myself earlier with intense research, I would have taken as affirmations of my doubts.

One good example is contractions in narration.

In the case of the contractions, I wondered if they were okay to use because consistency becomes a problem. I found plenty of articles that said “why not” and none that say no. (I hope my critics don’t mind me using this example!) It wasn’t until after I received a comment on it that I cracked open a book. The first thing I saw was contractions in the narrative, and they looked pretty natural.

Research complete.

Now, think about a fiction book—you probably wouldn’t notice certain things because you’re enjoying the story, but don’t you think a lot of do-not’s, had-not’s, is-not’s in the character’s mind would pull you from the story? Classics, with their formal language, don't use contractions. I'm also sure you were very aware of the tone created by the lack of contractions.

Really, I don’t understand why we think contractions shouldn’t be in the narrative considering most fiction books we pick up have them. Rules and conventions of formality stick hard! This is another reason why it's important to research any changes you're unsure of, but to also research ones you agree with--there's always a possibility your way and the suggested way were both right and it's always helpful to know.

Bias in Differing Experiences


I don’t claim to be an expert on grammar, characterization, and the works because when I read a published work, I read for enjoyment, not critique. I think it’s also important to point out bias in terms of being told a manuscript is already published and the work of a “professional author” versus the first or second draft of a new writer. Similar studies have been done on being told an author is Black versus White, for example. I’m pretty sure that a fancy metaphor in the published book would receive great reviews (take The Last Unicorn for instance, which I haven’t read), while, in the first/second draft critique, it would receive suggestions that it be changed because it’s too unconventional.

Being an African-American author, my critics tend to be White. Which isn't a problem until they come across some part that explains, for example, black bodies. I've actually been fearful of describing black bodies the way White authors describe White bodies because I know most White readers will be turned off by it. But I had to realize censoring myself that way would be catering to racism and self-hatred. I've noticed more and more the strange ways the beauty of White characters are detailed in most books, but when I describe the simplest feature of my Black characters, it's always pointed out as strange, which is because such descriptions are sadly rare.

Representation is important.

Overanalysis Spoils Pleasure


Critique is not something I could do for an extended period. I haven't read much recently and am already struggling with heightened awareness to certain themes in novels (mostly the emphasis on a lack of diversity and the occasional misrepresentation of God). It's moreso receiving critiques that heightens my awareness than giving critiques, and this awareness is a double-edged sword.

I have an immediate example of why long-term critique would further cripple my ability to enjoy novels. I used to be able to read any old fiction piece I picked up, but not anymore. (I'm only using the novel below as an example and stating a brief opinion about the work. Please do not take this as judgment of the novel as I did not read it in its entirety.)

I got a 50 cent novel from the library yesterday and the third sentence was:

He'd just been keeping himself busy while awaiting the arrival of a delegation of peacekeepers from several superpowers who would be meeting with the pope that morning, but like several other members of the press and tourists who'd been ignoring the altercation or losing patience with it, he was becoming concerned.
- The Reincarnationist by MJ Rose

The sentence doesn't seem so long on screen, but it instantly stomped on my will to read the book, along with a few other less immediate factors.

My point is instead of enjoying the story, I now notice small details that fracture my reading. This could just be me, but it does seem like something that would happen to anyone. I mentioned how the framing of a manuscript being professional vs. first-time may bias critique; I used to take pleasure at laughing at the one typo in a published novel, but I do not want to find sentences odd that I normally would not.

When we are in critique mode, we over-analyze things. Also, unique structures (metaphors, sentences) will almost always be eliminated. At first, over-analysis may not be a problem, but it is a learned behavior--you heighten your senses as you stay longer in an environment where you're supposed to point out things. So your brain thinks "The more things the better, right?"

I am in no way ragging on critiquing. As I said in the beginning, it is a very valuable process that I enjoy. It's just that we point out the benefits so much I didn't want to be another avoiding the cons of the process. When you are aware of these things, the process will only be more valuable for you, because if you shield against the negative, you only get the positive.

Another blog prompt brought to us by Wriye.

Friday, June 5, 2015

The Mind Game - Chapter Seven

Chapter 7 of The Mind Game.

This is the final installment of this piece. I hope you enjoyed! Please comment below with your thoughts.

Synopsis: Chesulloth finds herself trapped within her own mind. At first, she is lured in with offerings of pleasantries while she sleeps. Then, her sleeping body is bound and she is plunged into all her deepest fears, forced to endure ordeal after ordeal. The only way out is to overcome her fears, but her fears aren't all they seem on the surface.


Thursday, June 4, 2015

The Mind Game - Chapter Six

Chapter Six of The Mind Game.

Synopsis: Chesulloth finds herself trapped within her own mind. At first, she is lured in with offerings of pleasantries while she sleeps. Then, her sleeping body is bound and she is plunged into all her deepest fears, forced to endure ordeal after ordeal. The only way out is to overcome her fears, but her fears aren't all they seem on the surface.

Table of Contents


Wednesday, June 3, 2015

The Mind Game - Chapter Five

Chapter Five of The Mind Game.

Synopsis: Chesulloth finds herself trapped within her own mind. At first, she is lured in with offerings of pleasantries while she sleeps. Then, her sleeping body is bound and she is plunged into all her deepest fears, forced to endure ordeal after ordeal. The only way out is to overcome her fears, but her fears aren't all they seem on the surface.

Table of Contents


Tuesday, June 2, 2015

The Mind Game - Chapter Four

Chapter Four of The Mind Game.

Synopsis: Chesulloth finds herself trapped within her own mind. At first, she is lured in with offerings of pleasantries while she sleeps. Then, her sleeping body is bound and she is plunged into all her deepest fears, forced to endure ordeal after ordeal. The only way out is to overcome her fears, but her fears aren't all they seem on the surface.

Table of Contents


Monday, June 1, 2015

The Mind Game - Chapter Three

Chapter Three of The Mind Game.

Synopsis: Chesulloth finds herself trapped within her own mind. At first, she is lured in with offerings of pleasantries while she sleeps. Then, her sleeping body is bound and she is plunged into all her deepest fears, forced to endure ordeal after ordeal. The only way out is to overcome her fears, but her fears aren't all they seem on the surface.

Table of Contents


The Mind Game - Chapter Two

Chapter Two of The Mind Game.

Synopsis: Chesulloth finds herself trapped within her own mind. At first, she is lured in with offerings of pleasantries while she sleeps. Then, her sleeping body is bound and she is plunged into all her deepest fears, forced to endure ordeal after ordeal. The only way out is to overcome her fears, but her fears aren't all they seem on the surface.

Table of Contents


Saturday, May 30, 2015

The Mind Game - Chapter One

I originally said I would be releasing the first chapter of The Mind Game on June 1st. But I grew impatient. So here is the first chapter of this 7 part short story.

Enjoy!

Synopsis: Chesulloth finds herself trapped within her own mind. At first, she is lured in with offerings of pleasantries while she sleeps. Then, her sleeping body is bound and she is plunged into all her deepest fears, forced to endure ordeal after ordeal. The only way out is to overcome her fears, but her fears aren't all they seem on the surface.

Table of Contents

Friday, May 29, 2015

The Genre Battle: Spiritual Fiction

I found an interesting site that outlines all the genres: Book Country Genre Map.

This site also led me to understand why I have such difficulty appending genres to my works.

Science, one religion out of many, has a huge category all to itself. All other works must be imaginary (this would make a nice separate category--I have an imaginary short coming up), romance, historical, or mystery/thriller/horror. I was surprised at how many stories I could think of that did not fall into one of those categories.

There are also broad "genres" that demonstrate the lack of descriptive categories, such as:

  • women's fiction (Which is still just a misleading name for romance? Another disappointment.)
  • young adult (Oh, you mean 18-25, right? What? 12-18? Since when is a 12-year-old an adult?)
  • literary fiction

In these instances, it's an attempt to appeal to a particular audience but exchanges the use of the aforementioned categories. Of course, you can append additional genres on these, but it still becomes Women's Fantasy or YA Historical. Plenty of classics are haphazardly cast into the literary fiction category. (Let's not forget the tiny isle of nonfiction.)

At least, this is the vibe I get from discussions and applications of genre.

So, I decided to classify my works as spiritual fiction. It's a simple label that will apply to most of what I write. It's still an undescriptive label, but my point is those that have been firmly established have established themselves in a way that screams they are the only way. I'm glad I found a genre I fit under, but it's upsetting that there's little representation for other types of writing.

Why does a writer write what they write? Why does a fantasy author stick to fantasy or a historical author stick to history?

I would assume that it's because they're doing what they love.

If science fiction or fantasy were the only genres available, of course eventually someone would break the shell somehow, but authors, despite what they personally liked, would write SF/F until they felt they liked it. Because in a world were they were the only genres, writing SF/F would be what made a person an author. And if one loved writing books, it would therefore be necessary that they like SF/F.

There's some confusing logic for the day. Hopefully, my genre confusion ends here!

Free Beta Readers Question Template

Have you completed your fiction novel and you're considering getting another set of eyes to look over it? Have you already found someone to do it, but you're not sure how to express what you want them to look for?

Here is a template I created for questioning beta readers. These are general questions I developed for my own novel, so they don't cover areas I didn't feel I had problems with. I may, however, return and improve on this template.



How to Use


The questions in the template can be used to brainstorm your own questions, do your first edit, or they can be sent directly to your beta reader through email, Skype, mail, forum, etc.

Use the questions that you feel are most specific to your novel. For instance, asking both if you should have less foreign words and if you should have more is strange. Either you feel it might not have been necessary to include foreign words, or you might be aware that you restricted their usage.

Also, add you own explanations/details to the questions and delete mine as you see fit (I am the parentheses master.).

Enjoy!


Thursday, May 28, 2015

No Flo Joe: The Unpoetic Poeticness of Modernized Poetry

How do I feel about poetry? The crafty arrangement of words that pulls at your heartstrings and conveys years of emotions in a single line?

I love rhyming pieces more than anything, especially when the piece doesn't come off as contrived. I'm always amazed at how classic poets pulled off rhymes so flawlessly without sounding like "she looks at the flower... every hour." But I don't pay much attention to poetry in general, especially since I attended a workshop with a "professional poet" who bragged about the quality and depth of his work, but the pieces he shared all seemed contrived and empty to me.

Personally, the times I tried free verse, it came naturally. But I can't derive any pleasure from it. If I purposely blow meaning out of proportion, people snap and hum about how deep it was.

Which brings me to spoken word, an art form I really got to absorb in college.

Spoken Word


I recently fell in love with spoken word. And I fell out of love with it just as quickly. This isn't always the case, but spoken word is an example of an art form that started out great and got watered down over time. But this is because it had a purpose--an original focus and a particular group of artists--that it is being drawn away from.

Anything goes nowadays at spoken word gatherings. People throw analogies so strange no one could possibly identify with them, yet everyone snaps because "it's gotta mean something deep, right?" The recent changes in spoken word I've experienced are that pieces tend to be very shallow in the regard that they compete for snaps and leave behind true emotion, rhythm, and meaning.

Spoken word originated in Harlem and naturally flowed with the hardships Black people faced. Today, people use it to talk about the time their sister ate their sandwich and other things that don't flow the same way Black and Hispanic artists can make the art form work as they tackle themes of discrimination and oppression. At the same time, many of these artists of color have stopped telling their own stories to catch up with the hype of social justice and "deepness."

The great thing about spoken word is that your favorite poem can be your own, and that's okay. It makes sense that you can be most enthralled by the beauty your own experience naturally produced. This is also how the poetry serves as a coping mechanism--it reveals the beauty in the struggle. Though, as I mentioned above, the beauty of spoken word is melting away because people are trying to force it rather than let it come. The rhythms today are very contrived and every other artist sounds the same [to me].

People who are really into spoken word get offended at this, but some are quick to agree and say that's just how it is. No--that's what it has become. Your unique perspective has the same rhythm as the dude next door? I don't think so. And why does your voice change to sound like Gustavo's? What happened to Charlie? I want to hear Charlie. Charlie has a story that is just as powerful as Gustavo's. (Maybe--again, it's an art form attuned to minority struggle. This is my opinion, but this is why spoken word has stopped resonating with me.) I'm sure plenty of people are satisfied with the direction the art is going because it is becoming more inclusive.

I am not a spoken word artist myself because, as I said, I don't like writing free verse and I can't write rhymes. I wrote one piece and never performed it. I do love, however, how the community is so close-knit and supporting and everyone has their favorite poem from each artist in their community. I also love how frequently poems are performed in duos and trios.

And on a note that almost seems tangential at this point, my favorite poem is A Rainbow of Friends by P.K. Hallinan. It's been my favorite ever since I was a child. Now that I think about it, I performed it as spoken word many times when I was a child. Everything comes full circle!

But I suppose I prefer my poetry with vocals and rhythm nowadays.

How about you? Has your life been changed by poetry? Do you wish it were more popular or used in more creative ways? Do you have an undying love for spoken word that will persist no matter how much the art form changes? Don't forget, music is poetry, too!

Another blog prompt brought to us by Wriye.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

How Many Labels Have Enabled Your Characters?

I talked about character motivations for the February WriYe prompt. This time, I will continue the psychoanalysis of the main characters of my trilogy while being obscure about their identities. We apply labels to people all the time: the nerd, the geek, the prep, the wallflower, the extrovert (and, of course, many other more stigmatizing labels). These labels can be applied to characters, but I'll be focusing on more specific labels this time around.

Character archetypes are related to character motivation. Whether your character is socially or selfishly oriented will determine what will and will not motivate them.

First, I looked up the 12 main character archetypes. I'm going to list them here for my pleasure:

  1. The Innocent
  2. The Orphan
  3. The Hero
  4. The Caregiver
  5. The Explorer
  6. The Outlaw
  7. The Lover
  8. The Creator
  9. The Jester
  10. The Sage
  11. The Magician
  12. The Ruler

And now, it's time to put the four main characters of my trilogy on the chopping block. Until I release their character profiles, I'll refer to them by their initials. (Then you guys can come back to all the initialed posts and finally know who I was talking about!)

S.W. - The Innocent w/ a bit of The Orphan and a drop of The Sage
L.W. - The Explorer & a teensy-weensy hint of The Outlaw
B. - The Lover
A. A. - a bit of The Hero, & a species-specific bit of The Caregiver, w/ a fading dash of The Innocent.

By far, the hardest character for me to label was A. A. I think it's pretty obvious that B. proved the easiest. (Must be her simple name.) L.W. is the antagonist, but he is connected to a much larger antagonist. The Outlaw seems like a typical archetype for antagonists, but L.W. wants to have a peaceful life and settle down just as much as he wants revenge. S.W. is calm and trusting with a desire to just fit in and make everyone happy, but she also has a nosy, research-loving component. And, of course, when things don't seem right, she steps up that "sage" component to try to make sense of her surroundings. B. is simply searching for her bae, but the world makes settling down the last thing she can do. Everyone she's ever with gets ripped from her arms.

So, according to the "four cardinal orientations," L.W. would be oriented towards freedom, B. towards social satisfaction, S.W. towards order, and A.A. is just all over the place. Somehow, that seems like a logical balance.

Based on my categorizations above, I believe it's possible for characters to fall under a single archetype. At the same time, the more complex a character is and the more experiences they have had, the more likely they are to have multiple archetypes. I don't believe it's possible for a character to be so incredibly unique that they don't fall under any of the archetypes.

I think archetypes and motivations can be very useful ways to think about character development. Really, you can create a solid character just by filling in these two things. Their background is also important, but it can be created around their motivations, as well. After that, everything else just comes. The personality solidifies from the experiences and goals, then it just seems pretty obvious that his favorite color is forest green.

This analysis was actually pretty insightful for me.

Now, an interpretation of my character as the epitome of her archetype? B., I choose you!

B. clenched her unnamed comrade's thick forearm as it slipped deeper into the frigid, dark water. "It shouldn't've been you!" Her voice grew quieter. "...It should've been me. Come back." The cold permeating through her fingertips was her only response. B.'s grip on the limp arm loosened and the body of her comrade sank below the ice. "Come back," she whispered again.
Again, she had been saved. And again, she was alone.

Kudos to people who immediately got the reference! I had to do it (since I wasn't going to reveal any story information just yet).

I mainly used this site for archetype reference. Another blog prompt brought to us by Wriye.