銀色飛行船・ぎんいろひこうせん・Silver Airship by supercell: English Translation

I was listening to a really beautiful song and noticed there wasn't an English translation. If there is, well, here's another! I tried to keep the same meanings on each line as the Japanese, but it was especially hard with "Jitensha kago ni kaban futaribun nosete" which I would translate as "our two bags placed in the bicycle basket" or similar.

I may rework these lyrics to be less literal, but I thought I should leave them line for line because I remember I used to like comparing the Japanese with the English.

Silver Airship

by Supercell

If I stop climbing at this road,

You are always
Yawning,
Waiting there.

In this town smelling of salty winds
You and I both
Would become be adults.
That’s what I thought.

The seabirds cried
The road I took with you that summer,
I chase and chase.

Shining silver airship--
Only the sea remains the same.
On this hill, you laughed
I want to see you once more.

In the bicycle basket,
two bags side by side.
Complaining,
We pressed up the hill.

This road is straight--
I thought there was no way I could go wrong,
No matter where I went.

Flying silver airship--
I want to find that sky,
The wind caressed my cheek on that hill.
Now, there’s no one here.
No one’s here.

Dusk falls and silhouettes grow
I chased after you.
I have always liked you,
But I could never say it.

Shining silver airship,
Only the sea remains the same.
You laughed on this hill--
I want to see you once more.

Flying silver airship,
Waving, I saw you off that day.
This time, when I climb that road,
I will be waiting on this hill.

I will be the one waiting.

___

銀色飛行船 is copyright supercell. This translation is copyright Krystal K. Brown (and supercell). When using this translation, please create the translator and the original artist.

About the Translation

Fun fact: I learned 坂道押す (sakamichi osu) is a short way of saying getting off your bike and pushing it up a steep hill (坂町を手押しで登る/sakamichi wo te-oshi de noboru), which is why the characters were complaining. Before, I assumed it meant "to press up the hill" as an emphasis on its steepness alone. As you can see, to maintain the simplicity, I left it as that.

Update: I found other translations! Translations are always interesting to compare, so check them out! I took very few poetic liberties with mine, so it is more of a line-by-line translation.

I saw one that drew to my attention that the character may have been chasing the seabirds with the mysterious childhood love on the way home. It was a simple translation, so I should've spent more time analyzing it. At the same time, there's a bit I don't agree with in a few of the other translations (e.g. misplaced sentence subjects, skewed meaning by adding certain words). It's a tricky business! Feeling the song helps a lot.

I like "direct" translations because I've seen people say many times that a phrase doesn't exist in English when it does and completely change the Japanese meaning as a result, and in an attempt to be poetic (this is a major thing in college translation classes), they add in words that change the inflection of the sentence. More Japanese sentences can translate "as is" than I feel we are led to believe. When I feel certain that I've internalized the author's intended meaning, then I might seek to strengthen that meaning in English, but I think it's wrong to twist the original meaning into what you want it to be.

Then again, I'm someone who thinks book art is a horrible thing.

And looking back at the seabirds part, though it makes sense in English, it still doesn't click when I look at the Japanese. The style is more poetic than standard sentences, but I still think of it as her chasing the memory of the days when they walked together, the seabirds being an iconic part of that memory.

Going off what I said about replicating the author's intentions--some songs have short choppy lyrics, while others read like a story. Remembering this, I decided I won't alter my above translation to make it flow more in English. If she wanted to say "I watched clouds like silver airships in the sky" or "you took off in a silver airship" instead of "shining silver airship," she would have.

Using one of the first two quotes would be an example of extrapolating an ambiguous work and killing the romantic ambiguity. How? Because I don't know which meaning she had in mind (though I have a pretty good idea and am also 100% sure a solitary shining airship does not symbolize clouds), so choosing one would be allowing my personal first impression of the song to dictate the translation.

So, the point is, if the original work was ambiguous or mysterious, the translation should be, too. It's great that you understood her meaning, but putting an extended literal meaning instead of reserving the poetic form... destroys the poetry for anyone who reads your translation.

Now for an example of "correcting" word choice: notice how the lyricist chose to say "umidori" (seabirds) instead of "kamome" (seagulls).

If "seagulls" were the intended meaning, there's no obvious reason "umidori" would be chosen over "kamome," (perhaps for the emphasis of "umi") and in the case of a word preference, it was likely an image preference. There are many types of seabirds, and the lyricist is probably aware that people may think of the fellas pecking around in the water, pelicans, or the like instead of seagulls. At the same time, seabirds crying likely will make you think of seagulls, which is why I nearly chose that translation myself.

I think the usage of "seabird" allows your imagination to explore more, creating a nostalgic feeling.

And that's my stance on translation, still growing and evolving--a completely random tidbit about me. (But still writing-related!)