Old Legends Make Good Jokes

I spent an entire day rolling on the floor laughing at the first story I wrote when I got my first computer at 12 years. It doesn't have a plot at all and broke 26,000 words before I finally flung it away. It isn't as bad as I make it sound, but I developed a caricature (minus exaggeration) of the main character.

Yes, the main characters in this story were named Kaden and Damien and the characters were a lovely mix of angels, vampires, kemonomimi, and demons.

These are not actual excerpts from the story. I'd be much too embarrassed to include those.

***

The sun peaked over the mountaintops, justifying Kaden's growling stomach. He shook Damien awake. "Why does the sun rise?"
"That's because it revolves around the Earth."

***

An angel strolled across the street towards them.
"Why are you walking?" Kaden asked. "Couldn't you just fly?"
The angel massaged his own shoulders. "My wings are a bit tired."

***

"Why did you do that thing to me that time?" Kaden asked Damien.
*magically knows exactly what he is talking about* "That's because I have a hard time feeling."
"Did something happen?"
"..." *spills guts about everything negative related to love and emotions in his life*

***

"Why don't you just beat me into a bloody pulp when all I do is ask questions that should make you uncomfortable?"
"How could I be uncomfortable when you're so friggin' cute?" Damien enveloped Kaden in a bear hug.

***

All the time, he asks the most ridiculous questions that everyone eventually is forced to spill the beans and answer. I have to give myself a little bit of credit and say they didn't always answer right away, but they usually answered within a page. When the characters aren't knocking back the z's or hugging each other and straying from sexual contact, the pages are filled with chunks of emotional history (which again, giving myself credit, never occur randomly).